Maybe it’s the start of spring, the increased daylight and warmer weather. Or maybe I’ve just been going to therapy long enough that I’m ready to leave behind some of the old to make room for something new. For whatever reason, the impulse to make some changes is pressing up against me, nudging me, telling me it’s time to move forward.
There are a lot of them, small ones and big ones. Some I could take care of in a weekend, and others I have no idea how to implement or when I’ll really have the courage. Here they are, at least some of them, in no particular order:
- Get rid of the clothes I never wear. I do this periodically anyway, but I still hang on to some clothes I hope to fit into in the future, or things that I used to wear for my old job and somehow imagine I might need to wear in some kind of future professional situation (which hasn’t come in up two and a half years now).
- Scan or get rid of the piles of research articles I have piled up in the basement. I brought a lot of them home with me when I quit my old job. I do still use some things, but for the most part, I can’t find them in the piles and don’t have space for loads of files. Make them accessible or get them out of here.
- Finally move things from my old blog over to a new one. CHECK! (The one thing I have accomplished so far.)
- Figure out how I can earn money other than as an independent contractor doing research work. I used to run teams of researchers, and it was social and interesting and the work was always better because we learned from one another. The work I do now is lonely (and loneliness is triggering for me). Also, because I don’t have a big team to work with me, I tend to work on simpler projects which are, generally, a little tedious.
- Find a new yoga “home.” The place that had become my yoga home doesn’t feel good any longer–though that pain isn’t as sharp as it used to be. Also, by the way, finish the small amount of paperwork I need to do to formally earn my yoga teacher certification.
- Continue to wean off Effexor. I’m not sure when I’ll dare to take the next step, since my last drop knocked me out for two and a half months. But I’m determined to stop taking this medication which has been like poison to me.
- Learn more about the nutritional changes I’m trying to make, and see if that can help me feel better, in general, and get off the Effexor.
- Reduce or even stop therapy with E. Sigh. I know I need to do this, and it’s going to be very painful. But my wisest self knows that I’m no longer growing and benefiting as I did in the past.
CREDIT: Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash