Hi dear WP friends, the few of you that are still hanging in with the private blog. I’ve been having lots of adventures lately, in real life and emotionally, and it’s been strange not to blog about them. But I’m limited by time and also by sense that this blog is not long for this world.
Today I’m sick in bed, and in the little bit of time during the day that I haven’t been sleeping, I’ve been thinking about 1) therapy and 2) this blog.
The therapy piece is a long story. Or maybe not–maybe it’s just more of the same thing, recognizing and acknowledging old wounds, learning to accept them, and reframing the messages about myself I took from those experiences. That’s what I seem to be doing, over and over, with minor variations and a deeper commitment each time around. I’m noticing the patterns better each time. I’m even noticing the way in which I want to resist getting better and managing to do it more of it myself, because that will eventually move me away from E.
The blog is also something I’m reluctant to give up. It’s got a lot of craziness in it, but it’s documentation of how far I’ve come, and all I’ve learned, and the way I’m coming to make peace with my internal world. I’m playing now with the idea of editing it a little and turning it, or parts of it, into a book. With the evolution of more options for self-publishing or on-demand publishing, I could do this and just have a few copies made. I could give one to E, keep one myself, maybe print a few others to share. Then when I shut it all down, there’s still something lasting out of it.
And yes, I’m still thinking of holding a little farewell party and probably starting a new blog. I haven’t done any real planning for this yet, because I have so much work for the next several weeks. However, by July I will have finished my current freelance contracts, so this summer might be the perfect time to take on this blog transition project.
CREDIT: Photo by Andrew Neel on Unsplash