Sometimes I have to check in with various residents of my emotional house, particularly Anxiety, who has been so active this past year. So I sent her a little note.
I have been thinking about you. Before we all went to South America, you were very worked up; you had me nearly jumping out of my body. However, you settled down for most of the vacation (thank you very much).
Now I’ve been home for 12 days, and you are still quiet. Not that I’m objecting, not at all! But I wanted to check in and see how you were doing. Is there anything in particular you want me to pay attention to?
And she responded.
Ha! First time ever! You actually reached out to me before I had to torment you. Maybe you are learning something in therapy after all these years.
Ok, let’s be serious for a minute. I get worked up when I think you may be allowing yourself to be violated again, in one way or another. I told you that in earlier letter. But I think you may be doing better these days. Maybe.
Later today you will be talking to the urogynocologist about why you postponed surgery. I’m trusting you to explain the real reasons and tell her what you really need to be safe going forward. If you’re able to do that in this case and in others, well, then I won’t have to get so worked up. So buckle up and be strong, ok?