(Day 2 of Be Brave)
Like so many others, I have a complicated relationship with Anger. I recognize the value of her fierceness. But I’m afraid of her, or more precisely, I’m afraid of letting her loose. She might take over and cause a lot of destruction that could be hard for me to clean up later. I don’t have any real experience with the healthy expression of Anger.
In my house, Anger’s has been making more noise lately. “Why do you only want to listen to Compassion and Intuition? You don’t give my any time and attention,” she complains. “I have things to say, too. No one wants to listen to me. You don’t want to listen to me.”
Last night while brushing my teeth, I asked myself, Why can’t I get over what happened to me? So much time in therapy, but I don’t feel done. I wondered whether it might help to make some symbol of my pain, wrap it up nicely and bury it. Or burn it. But that didn’t feel right.
Anger spoke up, “Burying it or burning the bad things when I haven’t even been able to speak just guarantees you will head back to therapy later.”
Yeah, I see her point, but she scares me. She knows she feels dangerous to me and wants to find a way I can let her have her say. So she came up with the idea that she would start by joining forces with Creativity to mutilate babies. Not because I want to hurt any real babies–honestly, I don’t, you don’t have to call Child Protective Services–but because hurting babies is a FUCKING OUTRAGE. And I think Anger wants to say that what happened was a FUCKING OUTRAGE, even if others didn’t notice or minimized the impact.
Here are a few photos from this afternoon’s project.