What Must That Be Like?

I just watched another episode of a Swedish TV show with my husband (he’s Danish and we’ve been watching only Scandinavian TV and movies for months now; at the moment we’re watching Henning Mankell’s Wallander.) We just watched the episode in which a man who was imprisoned fifteen years earlier for murder and whose daughter died while he was in prison decides to avenge his daughter by taking the daughters of the policemen who caught him. Lots of twists as they try to find out who he is, and then suspense as the policemen try to rescue their daughters in time. Whatever. Just a TV show.

The point is, those fathers were willing to risk anything to rescue their daughters. They loved them intensely, and the daughters knew it. They could count on their dads to be interested in them, to care about their lives, to spend time with them, and to go to any lengths to protect them.

I just wonder what that’s like. It must be an amazing feeling.


  1. It must be an amazing feeling. Or maybe they take it for granted? I too am always interested in movies / TV featuring fathers and daughters, or fathers and sons. I have cried before when in some show, a father acts in a caring and non-reactive way towards their child, and this is taken as a matter of course.

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  2. I wonder. My dad stopped coming around because of my mom’s anger and when I was an adult he told me it was easier…easier on me because he was an alcoholic as well. Secretly I wished he would have rescued me. Oh my god I wish he would have taken me away.

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  3. I’ve been working on reparenting myself as a baby. It’s incredibly difficult to do and really it’s just a sorts of guided imagery with bilateral stimulation. It’s supposed to build neural pathways that don’t exist in our minds because we never experienced the loving attachment, or something like that. So maybe when you are “wondering” what it would be like to have a loving and caring father, try giving yourself a butterfly hug and tap your shoulders…left, right, left, right….and just imagine a loving and protective father. A father that loved his little girl and talks to her, plays with her, runs around outside, and would risk anything for her. Tap in that loving and wonderful feeling as it would have to be healing and a useful resource when the little girl feels scared and abandoned and as if no one cares.

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  4. I wonder the same thing. I often felt like a nuisance. In high school I was close with a girl and her sister. Their father was so gentle and kind-hearted and generous and loving. I was so envious. On the other hand their mother was quite unstable emotionally and was very childlike where my mother was very strong, mentally and emotionally and in control.


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