Day 64 – Ugh

Depression is getting louder. I’m agitated but at the same time exhausted. The exhaustion is overwhelming. I’m glad I’ll be taking a leave, but it doesn’t start until October 1, and it’s hard to imagine how I’ll keep going until then. Thoughts of harming myself have suddenly grown powerful again. I don’t know why. Work stress? The prospect of Doubt returning? A change in my medication? How can I even know?

No energy for insightful writing tonight. I’ll crawl in bed early. Ugh.


  1. Thinking of you. You will get through one day at a time. Doubt shouldn’t come back. Or at least not in the same house. Maybe in a sleep out or a garden shed.


  2. Sending you strength and love ❤
    Unfortunately I'm right there with you. I don't know that I'll get my leave much before you. I have to rearrange my schedule and set people up with others and figure out how to get down to 2 days. Really I should just take off but it isn't feasible.
    I've never really understood my desire to self harm. I mean logically it makes no sense. And I can't really do what I feel like doing, self harm wise, so I don't do anything. I am thinking a new large tattoo for myself.


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