So little one, I am really working on believing you. I am actively blocking Doubt when she tries to come in the room (go back to the beach, I tell her); I have also cut off Random Negative Rants, who has felt the need to speak up yesterday and today. (RNR is a big bore, endlessly repeating unhelpful observation about what a stupid bitch I am.)
I have struggled though, to hear your voice. You are so quiet. E. said maybe I could hear you better if I let you express yourself in other ways. We talked about collage and touch painting (a variation on finger painting). Even that’s a little challenging because I have taken enough drawing and painting classes that it’s hard for me to let go of “the rules” and ideas about composition. You and I did a little drawing yesterday, some with my non-dominant hand. This evening we messed around with some simple printing.
And you surprised me. I think I expected fear, shame, confusion, hurt, neediness… but not anger. I’m glad you told me.
Sage Burning 
Yeah so not what I expected from my girl yesterday either. Anger and blood, wth I’m so not liking listening to my angry inner girl. I thought we could just play all day.
LikeLike
Maybe anger is healthy–it indicates a sense of self, an outrage at something that really was outrageous.
LikeLike
I love that you did art and writing with your little girl.
LikeLike
You helped me think of it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
What was the source of the picture, if I may ask?
LikeLike
??? I think the deep source is the woundedness she feels.
LikeLike
Like is a hard button to push. I don’t like that a child suffers so much. But wow! Getting it out like that, expressing it. That I do like…
LikeLike
Thanks! Me too. I think it does some good… I have always been a little skeptical about things like using painting or collage to express feelings, but E. convinced me to set the skepticism aside and just try things. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that something my trusted therapist suggests is useful, but somehow I am.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s rather impressive though horrendous at the same time because a child isn’t supposed to suffer like that. Your painting makes a vivid, bold statement, and hopefully got some ‘stuff’ up and out of you.
LikeLike