First, I want to thank you for all you’ve done for me. You’ve given me a critical eye and an intolerance for nonsense. You’ve made me a thoughtful consumer of data and statistics. You save me from gullibility and from falling prey to the telemarketers who call at dinner time and want to know my computer password so they can “fix” my internet access.
As a thank you for all you have done, I want to send you off on a little vacation through the end of July. Not on all issues–you are welcome to stick around when I listen to the presidential candidates sing their own praises on the radio or when I receive emails from someone I don’t know in Nigeria who wants to transfer millions into my bank account. But on the issue of what happened to the little girl I’m charged with taking care of, I would appreciate it if you’d go do a little sunbathing at the beach and leave us alone. That little girl is a fragile child and can’t stand up well to your harsh judgment right now. So grab your sunscreen and flip flops, go have your summer fun, and let me stay here take listen to her with an open, gentle heart.
P.S. Don’t forget the sunscreen.