Some Good Advice for Parents Who Are Survivors

My parents loved me–still love me–the best they can. But there were obviously some important holes in my upbringing. I worry, at times, that this means I’ve missed things I should be doing in my own parenting. Some days, it helps to go back to check out some of the calm and steady online voices that consistently provide good advice.

One site I like is The Mama Bear Effect, with its mission to help prevent child abuse by providing parents with appropriate ways to talk to their kids, so kids are also empowered to resist or speak up (oh, I wish I’d had that kind of upbringing!).  But there’s lots of other stuff too.  Today I was reading their post about parenting as a survivor which both highlighted some common triggers and provided some advice: call a support person who knows your history, find a physical practice to release tension, and explore an online community.

Another excellent source on the same topic comes from a post on  It’s a thoughtful piece on how the quick, thoughtless interactions we have with neighbors, relatives or friends might accidentally quash our children’s ability to speak up if something’s wrong.  Blogger Lauren Book suggests some specific ways we can talk to our kids about their experiences that give them room to tell us how they really feel.

These and other voices like them remind me that we can do better, that our children don’t have to be the survivors of the future.

Photo by London Scout on Unsplash

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